All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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