It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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