just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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