there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
