I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
