her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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