he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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