turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The best revenge is premature balding
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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