i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
