She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
