hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
