We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
