Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
