you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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