her vagine was all disorganized.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
