so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
