Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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