He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
