i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
