when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
