i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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