champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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