This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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