the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
