this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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