She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
