You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
