Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
