barbara walters just said penis...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
