guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
