he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I would ride that face into the sunset
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
