You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
