my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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