Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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