I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
