The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
