how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
