I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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