i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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