it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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