hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
