the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
