He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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