He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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