I'm gonna have a badass scar
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
