I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
