Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
