zippers are such a cool invention
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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