Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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