Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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