Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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